LTTL: Mother Knows Best, But So Should You.

 PHOTO  VIA

PHOTO VIA

Prepare yourselves gentlemen, this is a sensitive topic. No, not your number of matches on Tinder. We’re talking about a woman far closer to your heart: your mother.

It’s reasonable to believe that a gentleman is a product of his upbringing. With that, I think it’s safe to say that many of the endearing qualities of a man come from his mother. The relationship a man has with his mom is one of the most important to maintain. Your mom knows many of life’s finest secrets and remedies. Whether it’s getting rid of the flu or how to wash your delicates, she holds a wealth of knowledge. Having a strong bond with your mom is nothing short of wonderful, however, when that bond begins affecting your self-sufficiency things can get a little hairy. After all, who wants to be known as a “mama’s boy”?  Let’s explore.

There is something undeniably attractive about a guy who cherishes his mom. This shows he has an appreciation for females and ladies need that. He’s someone who has been raised to respect women because he had an awesome mom to show him it’s importance. I’ve generally found that men who form a strong bond with their mother often have the qualities that women desire in a partner. Compassion, sensitivity, and generosity are a few that come to mind. I respect a guy who tells his mom “I love you” on the regular. You’re not afraid of showing your feelings and I dig that.

On the other hand, failing to manage the relationship you have with your mother can be a total turn off. I’m referring to the men who are completely lost without their moms. They can’t eat, sleep, or breathe without their moms telling them what to do. Living in the shadow of your mother can negatively affect a woman’s perception of you. It leads us to wonder if you are able to function on your own. Can you do your own laundry? Do you know how to work a stove? It may seem harmless, but by relying on your mother’s superpowers, you inhibit your ability to grow as your own man. This is a major red flag for women for the following reasons:

1) No woman wants to compete with your mother’s superhero abilities. It’s threatening to be compared with her at all times.

2) You’re a man, you should be MANLY.  Make your own bed, and your own decisions.

3) I begin to question myself. Does she think I’m good enough for you? After all, as her son, you are HER gift to this earth. She’s not letting just any old gal steal you from her nest.

4) Do you expect me to take the role of your mom? I don’t want to be responsible for doing your dishes or matching your socks.

5) When and if we move in together, is your mom going to be our third roommate? Maybe not, but I’m assuming she’ll at least want a key to our apartment.

6) Coming across as incapable of handling everyday tasks makes us question your independence. Being independent is one of the most important qualities a woman looks for in a man.

These thoughts may seem cold but remember that I admire that you love your mom.  It’s easy to rely on her for support and guidance, especially in this cutthroat world where being a grown-up isn't always fun. Finding the balance between having a strong mother-son relationship, while taking the initiative to be an independent man is something worth working for. So nurture the relationship you have with your mother, but don’t forget to be your own man.

 

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Haley G.

Haley spent a majority of her upbringing in a small town you’ve probably never heard of in Upstate New York. Since graduating college in 2012, she has resided in Washington, DC, Manhattan and Brooklyn, NY. Similar to many of the millennial generation, she isn’t quite sure what she wants to do with her life. Haley’s day job in fashion PR helps pay her extremely high rent, while her side projects in blogging and social enterprise keep her inspired. In her free time she enjoys yoga, drinking margaritas and watching ‘Chopped’ marathons. Haley’s ultimate goal is to create a job that she loves because when you do what you love it is no longer your job, but simply your life. Having spent the past 24 years as a lady, she thinks she may have some insightful advice for today’s gents- and is always down for a debate. Haley hopes to learn from one another, while creating a strong, smart and stylish community.