A Man and His Adele CD

In honor of the Grammy’s last week, we’d like to share a fun piece while waiting to relaunch the site next month. A crowd favorite here at WIAG is Adele (big surprise). Seeing her in action Last Monday, both during her passionate performance and during her candid interviews, reminded me of why she is one of the most massive stars on the planet. She is ALWAYS unmistakably 100% herself. She never tries to conform to popular opinion or put on a facade for the public (except for her crazy contouring.. yes I know what that is, my girlfriend showed me). This is an incredibly honorable quality and something that we think every human should embody.

Another one of Adele’s inescapable qualities is her uncanny ability to tug on the heartstrings of her poor, innocent fans. I expected nothing different with her newest album, 25, and boy was I right. Here is a (mostly accurate) play-by-play of my experience listening to 25 for the first time. Enjoy…

“Oh, Adele...your new album...finally. You’re dating a new guy, you have a beautiful new child, and you have the whole world on your side. I can’t wait to hear what a happy Adele album sounds like.”

1. Hello 

“Helloooo. I know this one! Adele tweeted that 25 is her ‘make-up’ album to herself, so she must be serenading a younger version of herself with this one. No heart-wrenching breakups. I can get used to this.”

2. Send My Love

“Whoa. What’s happening? Why am I tapping my foot and bobbing my head to an Adele song?... Wait a minute. This song is definitely about a breakup. She just disguised it with a catchy, upbeat melody. Tricky, but I’m okay with this.”

3. I Miss You

“I really want to hit next, but I can’t. Because, you dont “next” Adele. Even if she does have deceiving makeup, and wont stop talking about her ex”

4. When We Were Young

“No. No, Adele. What are you doing? *Sniffles* He left you? Why did he leave you?!”

5. Remedy

*Sobs* “This is how I felt about my 11th grade girlfriend...right before she dumped me.” *Deep sobs*

6. Water Under the Bridge

“I wonder what she’s doing these days?” *Logs onto Facebook*

7. River Lea

“Of course. She has a boyfriend. Dude looks like a J. Crew model. And they look so happy...”

8. Love In the Dark

*Deep, deep sobs* “Snap out of it. What’s the next song? A million years ago? Perfect. That relationship was a million years ago. You’ve moved on to bigger and better things.”

9. Million Years Ago

“No. No, no, no, no, no. Now you’re going to remind me about how old I’m getting?! My life is flashing by. My friends are nowhere to be found. Life was a party to be thrown, and now its not?! You’re 25? I’m 25. Does this mean all the good times are over..?”

10. All I Ask

“F*ck. No chance I’m keeping it together through this one. Is this a breakup song? How can this be a breakup song?! Just hold her like she’s more than a friend, man!”

*Neighbor files noise complaint about a loud, sobbing woman*

11. Sweet Devotion

“Finally...a genuinely uplifting song. I’m reeling it in. I think I’m okay now.” *Replays album*