After a few years of uncertainty, the verdict is in: dating apps are here to stay. Single millennials around the globe have officially transitioned from deciding whether to use a dating app to deciding which dating app to use. Tinder, Bumble or Hinge? Perhaps even the new and upcoming Happn? One is apparently no longer enough. What Tinder started, others have tried to finish, adding different features, gimmicks, and angles, trying to find the perfect combination of swiping, pictures, and information to get everyone on board.
A traditional topic of discussion amongst men has started to take on a different dynamic as of late, all because of these platforms. The question has always been, “How do I best position myself to attract the people I find attractive?” This is commonplace in everyday life. But in real life, you get to show off your sense of style and your personality more effectively than in a finite set of photographs and a couple of sentences. What if you don't take good pictures!? You swear you’re good looking, but the camera just doesn't love you. You're Bradley Cooper in person, but Pauly Shore on Tinder.
In an attempt to decode the new dating app dynamic, we’ve gone through the basic elements of the apps and performed a little experiment. Let’s see if we can get a few girls to truthfully answer the questions that go through a gent’s head when setting up his profile.
Enter Jess - the WIAG web designer and guru of all things concerning our female counterparts. She graciously accepted a few bottles of wine for her and her friends in exchange for some candid responses to our questions on navigating the world of dating apps. *In Law & Order tone* These are their stories:
*Note: We haven’t altered these answers for anything other than punctuation/capitalization. #NoFilter
1. Are emoji’s too girly?
Depends on the amount of Emojis and which ones. Over three is too many. Don’t replace too many words with Emojis. Punny Emojis or something witty is good. Don’t use the eggplant/peach combo or the finger into “OK” sign. Can use as representation of things you like, like runner + pizza slice + musical instrument.
2. How much information is too much information?
Use complete sentences. Don’t just put what f***ing cities you’ve lived in. “NY >> SF >> LA >> AZ what up >> back to SF.” Blah - f*** off. Say something witty. Even if you are being sarcastic, it’s going to come off as you being an a**hole.
3. We should put our height in there right?
It depends on the girl. If you’re really tall, then it doesn’t matter. If you’re really short and worried about dating a girl taller than you, then yes, put it in there. But it’s not the most important thing. If you put it, it should be the last thing—don’t lead with your height. That should not be your most redeeming quality.
4. Do you want a story or simple facts?
Goes with using complete sentences. Tell your elevator pitch in 2 sentences, but not your life bio. Needs to actually tell us something about you, not just where you live and where you work.
5. Are lame taglines actually a good thing?
Make it funny, and a quote from a great show or movie. It can help be a good conversation starter. Don’t do anything super obscure and pretentious, or anything sexual.
6. How much does this section actually matter?
If we’re borderline and you have a great bio, it can push us to swipe right. But if you’re super cute and have a creepy bio, it’ll make us change our mind.
1. Mirror pics: yes or no?
Big fat NO, absolutely not.
2. What makes a good first/ profile picture?
Showing you doing an activity you love. You need to be able to clearly see your face. Easily identifiable. Don’t have every picture be a group picture - it’s too much work to figure out who you are. Smiling is great! If all your pictures are of you not smiling, you look like a jackass, or a murderer.
3. If we have pictures of just us in all our photos, does that make us look conceited?
No, it doesn’t make you look conceited, but it might make you look like you have no friends. A group picture shouldn’t be your first photo, but a picture with friends shows a lot about you.
4. If there is a girl in one of the photos, do we need to explain it?
Nope. Along the same lines, if you have a kid in there, still no, unless there’s a lot of pictures of you and that same kid. Or that same girl.
5. If we only have 3 photos out of the 8 or so slots available does that make you think that we aren’t that attractive because we can’t find that many good photos of ourselves?
No, but don’t like when it’s filled in with random photos from the internet - like a picture of Mike Tyson and then a weird cat. I don’t want to be catfished. It’s not good if you only have one photo because why do you only have one photo of yourself? Are you actually that person?
6. If we’re not petting an exotic animal does that make us lame?
No. Don’t be a Tinder stereotype. It also doesn’t matter if you’ve never climbed Machu Picchu.
7. If there isn’t a photo with us at the beach or our shirt off in some way, does that automatically make you think we’re chubby?
Nope. A full body picture is a great alternative to putting your height if you’d rather not. Also helps to see your style
1. What is the right amount of time to wait before texting?
Talk immediately. There’s no point in procrastinating. If it’s more than 24 hours, we’ve given up on you.
2. Do you want a crappy line? Or a “hey there”?
“Hey there” is boring. But not a line either. It can’t just be “Hi.” Use our profile to come up with something to talk about. “Hey there” isn’t conversation-starting. Even “Hey how’s your weekend?” at least starts a convo. Or a creative question like “What’s your favorite one hit wonder?” Not a pickup line, but something that elicits a response.
3. How do we not come across as creepy?
This is a vague question, but most of time you don’t come across as creepy. Basically, don’t say anything sexual. Or anything that can be misconstrued as sexual. If you’re being obviously sarcastic, then fine, but if it’s something that needs voice inflection, we might not get that you’re trying to be funny, and it’ll be creepy. And don’t comment on physical features that you wouldn’t have the balls saying to a girl in person.
4. Make us feel better, what is the worst/weirdest thing you’ve received in a text on a dating app?
Literally a sexual Harry Potter pun. Or that one about the puppies. Really anything sexual. “I really want to put my tongue in something”
5. How long should a conversation last on the dating app before you get a number or an invite out?
1-3 days max, but if you’re having a conversation, when it’s winding down, exchange numbers right then. Then within the week of exchanging numbers, make a date.
6. What is the best play? Dinner, drinks, coffee, or something else?
Drinks is a fair trial first date. Coffee if you guys have had a really good conversation because you don’t need that liquid courage. Friends are conflicted about dinner. Some don’t like it, some like it because it shows guys are serious about dating you. But if it’s bad, you’re kind of stuck. Dinner does tell you immediately whether or not you want to go out with them again, whereas drinks could end unsure, like “Maybe this will be good, but let’s try it again to find out for sure.” Dinner is high risk, high reward. The longer you’re talking, more likely to do dinner.
7. What was the best first date you’ve been on with someone from a dating app?
BBQ dinner, walked to parks, ate ice cream watching the sunset. Activity + eating + good conversation. Involves walking, parks, and ice cream. Be creative. Drinks is fine, but make it a cool new bar that we haven’t been to before. Make it unique.
8. What about the worst?
Almost got murdered. Or the guy that said his idol is current Tom Cruise, not the cool Top Gun Tom Cruise. And he didn’t like cheese. The guy only talked about how he wanted to make money. A 45 minute dinner date that felt like it was an interview. The guy that was unbelievably bad at reading the situation—thought we were having a great time, and I was clearlyyyy not. Or if you’re late. Automatically kills the date and we’re pissed before you even get there.
Pardon us while we feverishly cycle through and change our 15 different dating profiles and think up some witty emoji combos for our bios.